It’s Okay to Admit We Don’t Understand, Knowing We Are Trying

In a world that often values certainty, expertise, and quick answers, admitting that we don’t understand something can feel daunting. We’re conditioned to think that not knowing is a sign of weakness or incompetence, especially in professional environments. However, this perspective couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the courage to admit when we don’t understand—while recognizing that we are trying—is a hallmark of authentic leadership and personal growth. Vulnerability in this regard isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength that fosters trust, collaboration, and continuous improvement. As servant leaders it is important for us to be the pacesetters so we encourage courageous vulnerability versus discourage it.

The Fear of Not Knowing 

In many workplace cultures, there’s an unspoken pressure to have all the answers. Whether we’re in leadership positions or not, the expectation to know it all can be overwhelming. This fear of admitting gaps in our knowledge can lead to a range of negative behaviors—pretending to know, avoiding asking questions, or even making decisions based on incomplete information. Unfortunately, these behaviors can have detrimental effects on both individual growth and team dynamics.

When we are afraid to admit that we don’t understand something, we close ourselves off to learning opportunities. This can stifle innovation and co-creation, hinder problem-solving, and create a culture where people are reluctant to seek help when they need it. Over time, this reluctance can lead to mistakes that could have been avoided and can cause a sense of isolation among team members who feel they must struggle alone.  

Embracing and Encouraging Vulnerability: The Power of Saying “I Don’t Know” with courage, confidence and enthusiasm

One of the most powerful things we can do as leaders, colleagues, or team members is to normalize vulnerability by openly admitting when we don’t understand. Saying “I don’t know” or “I need help” creates an environment where learning is prioritized over perfection, and where collaboration thrives. This type of vulnerability requires courage, but it also opens the door to collective growth.

By acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers, we invite others to share their knowledge and expertise. This, in turn, fosters a culture of trust and respect. When leaders model this behavior, it sends a strong message that it’s okay to not have all the answers and that asking questions is not a sign of weakness but of engagement and curiosity.

The Importance of Trying

Admitting that we don’t understand something doesn’t mean we’re giving up—it means we’re trying to learn. The willingness to try, even in the face of uncertainty, is what drives growth and improvement. It’s essential to recognize that learning is a process, and it’s okay to not grasp everything right away. What matters is the effort and intention behind our actions. Can we imagine how many ideas and opportunities are missed when we don’t remove the barriers that prevent “trying”?

When we admit that we don’t understand but are actively trying, we demonstrate perseverance and resilience that builds vulnerability endurance. This mindset encourages a growth-oriented approach where challenges are seen as proactive opportunities rather than roadblocks. It also helps to build psychological safety and a feeling inner peace within teams, where members feel supported in their efforts to learn and improve with courage versus fear.

In many ways, trying is the bridge between not knowing and understanding. It’s the action that turns vulnerability into strength and confusion into clarity. When we approach challenges with a mindset of continuous learning, we are better equipped to handle complex problems and adapt to changing circumstances.

The Ripple Effect of Vulnerability – like a river that never runs dry

When leaders and team members alike embrace vulnerability by admitting when they don’t understand, it has a ripple effect throughout the organization. Teams become more collaborative, as individuals feel more comfortable seeking input and offering their perspectives. This openness leads to better decision-making, as more diverse viewpoints are considered, and knowledge gaps are addressed.

Moreover, this type of vulnerability fosters deeper connections among team members. When people feel safe to express uncertainty or ask for help, they build stronger relationships based on trust and mutual respect. These relationships become the foundation of a healthy and productive work environment where everyone feels valued and supported.

In addition, embracing vulnerability encourages a culture of accountability. When individuals are transparent about what they don’t know, they are more likely to seek the resources and support needed to fill those gaps. This accountability leads to more informed decisions and higher-quality and more productive outcomes.

Practical Steps to Embrace Vulnerability

1. Normalize Curiosity: Encourage questions and curiosity in your workplace. Create an environment where it’s okay to ask for clarification or admit when something isn’t clear.
2. Lead by Example: As a leader or team member, be open about your own knowledge gaps. When you don’t understand something, say so. This will signal to others that it’s safe to do the same.
3. Focus on Learning, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from having all the answers to a culture of continuous learning. Celebrate efforts to learn and grow, rather than punishing mistakes or gaps in knowledge.
4. Build Psychological Safety: Foster an environment where team members feel safe to express their uncertainties without fear of judgment. Encourage open communication and make it clear that vulnerability is valued.
5. Offer Support: When someone admits they don’t understand, offer support and resources to help them learn. This reinforces the idea that not knowing is an opportunity for growth, not a failure.

Conclusion: Courage in Vulnerability

Admitting that we don’t understand, while knowing that we are trying, is a courageous act that can transform both individuals and teams. By embracing vulnerability, we open the door to continuous learning, stronger relationships, and a culture of trust and accountability. In a world that often demands certainty, let’s celebrate the courage to say, “I don’t know, but I’m trying.” After all, it’s through this process that we grow, both personally and professionally.