What is a mentor?
Mentorship is a mutually beneficial professional relationship in which an experienced individual (the mentor) imparts knowledge, expertise and wisdom to a less experienced person (the mentee) while simultaneously honing their mentoring skills.
An effective mentor can guide the mentee professionally while maintaining a friendly and supportive relationship. A mentor should always have the mentee’s best interests in mind and tailor their mentorship style to meet their needs. – Business News Daily
Many of my positive authentic mentors are peers, friends, team members, business associates, sports team coaches, business coaches and pastors. One of my most positive mentors to this day is someone who hardwired his heart to mine, by simply taking an interest in me like no one ever before. He became my experienced trusted adviser both personally and professionally. There were memorable times he was my mentor, and he didn’t even know it. Like the time I first met him, he walked into the office and rather than sit in the big leather executive chair across from me, he sat on the other side of the desk and pulled his chair up next to mine. He then turned his chair with this incredible presence of authenticity and kindness. This was one of many of his kind and caring behaviors that left his very influential thumb print “hardwired to my heart”. My first impression was not only a best impression but forever a lasting one. He imparted knowledge, expertise and wisdom to this less experienced person!
In the spirit of authentic servant mentoring, everyone matters and everyone is important and can make a difference if they feel they are consistently cared for and feel a confident trust that we have their best interests in mind. I also realized for this to happen, we must create the path to inclusively serve others with the great realization that we are all created equal, however so uniquely different with our special gifts and talents, regardless of our position, ethnicity, gender, or the freedoms to believe in what we believe, as a community of human beings with…real FEELINGS and EMOTIONS that matter every single day. I like to think of our mentoring efforts as a custom tailored fit for each individual as we consistently do the work to listen, learn and serve each individual appreciating and encouraging their unique gifts and talents.
I also find it tremendously important to be on the look out for those mentoring learning opportunities whereby we witness real live evidence of authentic servant mentoring that we can learn from. I have often shared my high regard for Coach Dick Vermeil who was the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles and Super Bowl Champion – St. Louis Rams. I admired his vulnerable courage to show the inner works of his heartfelt emotions on the national stage.
Please take the time to google and watch Dick Vermeil’s Most Emotional Moments. He was known for his emotional vulnerability for all the players and teams he coached. His tears of joy were so incredibly inspiring on such a big national stage!! What a great example of genuine authentic courageous vulnerability.You not only heard it, you felt it.
The following are sound bites from Coach Vermeils Most Emotional Moments
“I’ll try to help you in any way I can” – to one of his coaches
“It’s alright to cry, I love you” – as he hugs a player in the end zone during the pre-game warmups
And in the locker room following the St. Louis Rams Super Bowl victory, “You surround yourself with good people and work hard and be unselfish and care and don’t be embarrassed to say I love you and I appreciate it, because guys if you say it someone to else, they will say it back to you, and guys I love ya”
I recently sent a thank you note to express my personal gratitude and appreciation for his vulnerable and inspirational authentic mentoring leadership. In one week, he responded with a handwritten note whereby the outside of the card was a picture of his fathers towing business and on the inside Coach Vermeil wrote “this is where I worked as a young man and learned so many life lessons.”
He also included his Seven Principles for Winning
1. Surround yourself with good people and let them know you care
2. Be a good example and surround your team with other good examples
3. Create an atmosphere in which people enjoy working
4. Define your plan which includes your vision, values, purpose and process, then delegate and lead
5. Come to work to go to work convincing your team hard work is not a form of punishment, it is our solution
6. Build relationships as you implement your plans; and when it is appropriate be willing to say I love you and I am grateful for all you contribute
7. Be sincere and never compromise your integrity
Activation Exercise
Who are the positive mentors in your life both past and present?
What behaviors were most evident from those memorable mentors?
How are you passing them on to the people you serve and your stakeholders ?
Which of those behaviors do you feel left a thumb print on you in your quest for continuous improvement?